Joel. Surfing. Finally. //Photo Adam Weathered

How many times had you ridden that first wave in your mind before you actually surfed it?

Joel: I’ve haven’t been sleeping at all. The thought of that first surf back is what’s been keeping me going for months, so it was awesome for it to finally happen.

Tell us about the surf.

I surfed for about 40 minutes and caught about 10 waves. Then I went back in the arvo and surfed for about two hours. I was riding a big old 6’6”, and I got a few Rainbow-through-Greenmount-then-Kirra waves, and was kinda just cruising. It was pretty awesome. I was amazed; it was like I was just flying. It felt like I was going so fast, even though I was probably going so slow. But it felt awesome.

How was your form?

I was pretty rusty. I’d be waiting for a section to come – I’d be wait, cutback, cutback, cutback – then finally a section would come and I’d bog a rail and fall off in the good bit. I was like, oh my god, what am I doing? Then I started completely going straight, so when I got to the good bit of the wave I could pocket ride or do a little turn. It was good because I could go fast, I just can’t do anything with my speed. You never lose the part of your surfing that enables you to find the part of the wave that generates speed. I got a little frustrated though as the day went on. I would be on a wave and I could feel and see where I’d like to be on the wave, but I just couldn’t get there. Not yet, anyway. You’d think it’s like riding a bike, jumping back on and riding like you always have, but it’s going to be a bit tougher with my surfing.

parko’s back from js35 on Vimeo.

I saw shots of your surf… looks like you were enjoying it.

Did I look fat? I weighed myself the other day and I was 85 kilos. I was kind of horrified and since then I’ve been on a strict diet trying to trim down. I’m the biggest I’ve ever been in my life; the biggest before that was 83 kilos. My fighting weight is 79-80 kilos so I’m like, okay, I’ve got to strip a bit of weight off, but that will all fall away once I start surfing full on. Skeney [Joel’s brother-in-law] is into me about my weight, he’s going, “You coming with me to 100 kilos?”

And how does the foot feel after a couple of surfs?

The foot feels all right, but it’s pretty sore and stiff. You think it’s feeling so good, but until you stand on a board and push it you don’t know for sure. I’m at home now and my ankle feels a bit stiff and sore. It will take a while to get it right, but the week after I cut my foot the specialist told me this would be the week I’d be back in the surf, and he was right so everything is on track.

It can’t be too bad. You surfed eight-foot Kirra the next day.

It was kind of like the year me and Mick surfed it in the contest. It was as big, but wasn’t hitting the bank as well but. There were still some really good ones though. Brooko was out there on his ski, so I got a few lifts back out with him but I couldn’t do any step-offs because of my foot. And there were some waves out there I didn’t want to now about. It was pretty heavy.

So you still on course to surf the Triple Crown?

Yep, for sure. I wanna surf the Triple Crown. I’ve just got to get as fit and healthy as I can before I get there. I’ve still got a fair way to go. I was thinking, you know, Puerto Rico is 10 days away, and I realise I’m so far away from matching it with the boys on tour. It’s going to take me a few weeks to get back to a point where I can push it. I feel pretty fit, but I don’t feel really surf fit and in Hawaii you need to be surf fit. But on the upside your surf fitness returns really quickly once you start putting hours in the water. I surfed for an hour and last night I was knackered I felt like I’d surfed for 10. It’s just a matter of doing the hours now, and I’m so ready to do that you wouldn’t believe.

[Show as slideshow]

Five weeks later and I'm finally back in the water. //Swilly

Five weeks to the hour after I cut my foot I finally got back into the ocean today for a bodybash. The sequence of shots below is probably the worst sequence of my whole career, but it felt the best. The second I hit the water I felt a thousand times better.

[Show as slideshow]

PARKO’S SASHIMI FOOT from Joel Parkinson on Vimeo.

This is the last time, we promise.

Video by Asher King

THE TOECUTTER from Joel Parkinson on Vimeo.

Okay Joel, talk us through the wave.

The wave I cut my foot on was such an incredible little wave. A sick, sick wave. A tank. Did you see how square that wave was? It was mental. Mate, it was one of those waves that when it stood up on the bank and I was paddling into it, I knew I was taking off two feet too deep even before I stood up. But it was such a drainpipe that I was like, “I’ve just got to have a go at this!” From the moment I saw it I knew it was going to be a rad drop and that I was going to be a little bit too deep. I would have had to take off on the shoulder to make it, but I was going anyway. Once I pulled into the barrel the foamball just got under my board and blasted me forward. I thought for a second it might just fire me out of this thing like a bullet in a gun. Instead the foamball flipped my board over and the fin has sliced my foot. I knew instantly I’d been cut. I dealt with the wipeout and just as I’ve equalised underwater and got my bearings I’ve reached down and felt my foot, thinking that I’m up for a few stitches, maybe three or four at best. But when I put my hand down there all four fingers have disappeared into the gash. That didn’t feel good. Then once I got to the surface I’ve lifted my leg out of the water to have a look and there it was – my heel just kind of sagged off, a quarter of my foot just flapping around. It was like watching a horror movie. Just went, oh my goodness, get me to hospital.

Describe the scene once you washed up on the beach.

First up I’ve got to thank the paramedic who was there and the lifeguard. But the first guy who got to me on the beach just happened to be an off-duty paramedic… how lucky was that? The first guy I yelled at for help on the beach was a paramedic. It was good luck for me but not for him; the week before he’d been up the Seaway when a girl was run over by a boat and lost her leg. He’s had a pretty heavy week. Andy [Irons] was with me down at the waterline, and he was next to me as they carried me up the beach. I was asking him how it looks and all he could say was, “Oh bra, oh bra…”

I heard you were cracking jokes while they were treating you on the beach?

The whole scene was pretty intense. It was school holidays and there were kids around everywhere who were starting to freak out. I didn’t want them freaking out because that would start me freaking out. I tried to keep everyone calm around me, cracking a few jokes, going to the paramedic guy, “So I’ll be right to surf tomorrow, eh?” Then I look at all these peoples’ faces standing around me and they’re white as ghosts and nobody’s laughing. It was pretty wild just trying to deal with it, but then as soon as I got into the ambulance the pain started to kick in. I got from Snapper to North Kirra in the ambulance, about two minutes down the road, and told the bloke, “Mate, this is really starting to hurt.” And he’s just pulled out the green painkilling whistle and I was off with the fairies after that.

What was your worst fin chop before this one?

I almost cut my toe off once in Hawaii, and I’ve had my fin go through the webbing between my toes twice, once before my first heat in J-Bay last year. That one was three stitches, the Hawaii one was eight stitches, and I’ve had 10 stitches in my head, so I’ve smashed my record with this one. The doctor put a lot of stitches inside the cut – he lost count. Then on the outside there were 15, 20 maybe across the bottom of my foot. There was a bit of work to do there. This shits on anything I’ve done to myself in my whole life; my ankle injury, my knee, medial ligaments, this shits on it for pain and sheer gruesomeness. You wouldn’t wish it upon anyone else in the world just to come up after a wipeout and see your body hacked at like that. Come up and one of your limbs looks horrifically not right. Like when a footballer seeing another players knee bending the other way, just that immediate horror of seeing a body not looking like it should.

What’s the prognosis for getting back into the water?

Because it’s a flesh wound it’s one of those things we really don’t know how long it’s going to take. It’s not like, “It’s a grade one medial tear, you’re out for four weeks.” There’s no timetable on this and I won’t know until I’m up walking around on it. I’ve been getting some physio on the foot, and I’ve got an electronic machine that stimulates bloodflow through it. I’ve got to get the movement back in my toes as soon as I can, and then I’ve got to put weight back on it. With the scar tissue in the wound it’s hard to tell exactly how long it’s going to take to heal. I haven’t pulled out of Tahiti but I might have to. You’ve got to stay upbeat with something like this and use some positive energy to help it heal.

What did you learn from dealing with the ankle injury last year that you can apply to this one?

That I’m not coming back until I’m 100 per cent. Because I was chasing the world title last year I was coming back at 60 per cent and I never want to do that again. I hated last year going to Trestles thinking, if I can just get a 9th here I’ll take it. You need to go into every event thinking you can win it. Even if I get it to 90 per cent with this injury I’ll wait. I want to come back at 100 per cent. I was talking to Hog [Nathan Hedge] today and he was talking about his shoulder injury that he did a few years ago, and he said it was the best thing he ever did, waiting a bit longer for it to heal rather than rushing back.

That’s two major injuries within 12 months. How unlucky are you feeling right now?

Pretty bloody unlucky.

You were just three days away from getting on the plane to J-Bay. Surely that added to the pain?

It did. I was so fit and I’d trained so hard and all the work had been done. I was so ready. I’d finished training and was only a few days from getting on the plane. All the hard stuff was done and I was so ready to go and start reaping the benefits of feeling amazing and surfing J-Bay and surfing heats again, but now I’m here lying on the couch instead.

Are you going to be watching the contest webcast?

For sure, I’ll be cheering on Deano and Andy and Mick. I’d love to see a Deano and Andy final. I wanna watch the heats… but I’m not so keen on watching the waves. There’s swell coming and I’ll just be torturing myself by watching it. If it’s pumping I’m going to be in all sorts. But I love watching the heats live when I get the chance, screaming at the guys on screen telling ‘em what they should be doing. You never lose a heat watching it on the beach, and I don’t intend to lose a heat watching it on the lounge. I’ll be the supercoach on the lounge telling everyone what they should be doing.

And what about the other 20 hours a day on the lounge? How much Oprah and Doctor Phil are you watching?

I’m over the couch already. I’ve been reading my fishing mags and watching some fishing shows on the Discovery Channel today, which were pretty cool. As soon as I can walk around I’ll be getting my boat out into the river and going fishing. Hazza’s injured and has got a boot on his foot at the moment, so he might be my fishing partner. We might go chasing some whiting and flathead in the river. I think just getting into the outdoors at the moment will be good for my mind.