Joel Parkinson

LOZZA’S LEFT

LOUNGE SURFING

THE TOECUTTER from Joel Parkinson on Vimeo.

Okay Joel, talk us through the wave.

The wave I cut my foot on was such an incredible little wave. A sick, sick wave. A tank. Did you see how square that wave was? It was mental. Mate, it was one of those waves that when it stood up on the bank and I was paddling into it, I knew I was taking off two feet too deep even before I stood up. But it was such a drainpipe that I was like, “I’ve just got to have a go at this!” From the moment I saw it I knew it was going to be a rad drop and that I was going to be a little bit too deep. I would have had to take off on the shoulder to make it, but I was going anyway. Once I pulled into the barrel the foamball just got under my board and blasted me forward. I thought for a second it might just fire me out of this thing like a bullet in a gun. Instead the foamball flipped my board over and the fin has sliced my foot. I knew instantly I’d been cut. I dealt with the wipeout and just as I’ve equalised underwater and got my bearings I’ve reached down and felt my foot, thinking that I’m up for a few stitches, maybe three or four at best. But when I put my hand down there all four fingers have disappeared into the gash. That didn’t feel good. Then once I got to the surface I’ve lifted my leg out of the water to have a look and there it was – my heel just kind of sagged off, a quarter of my foot just flapping around. It was like watching a horror movie. Just went, oh my goodness, get me to hospital.

Describe the scene once you washed up on the beach.

First up I’ve got to thank the paramedic who was there and the lifeguard. But the first guy who got to me on the beach just happened to be an off-duty paramedic… how lucky was that? The first guy I yelled at for help on the beach was a paramedic. It was good luck for me but not for him; the week before he’d been up the Seaway when a girl was run over by a boat and lost her leg. He’s had a pretty heavy week. Andy [Irons] was with me down at the waterline, and he was next to me as they carried me up the beach. I was asking him how it looks and all he could say was, “Oh bra, oh bra…”

I heard you were cracking jokes while they were treating you on the beach?

The whole scene was pretty intense. It was school holidays and there were kids around everywhere who were starting to freak out. I didn’t want them freaking out because that would start me freaking out. I tried to keep everyone calm around me, cracking a few jokes, going to the paramedic guy, “So I’ll be right to surf tomorrow, eh?” Then I look at all these peoples’ faces standing around me and they’re white as ghosts and nobody’s laughing. It was pretty wild just trying to deal with it, but then as soon as I got into the ambulance the pain started to kick in. I got from Snapper to North Kirra in the ambulance, about two minutes down the road, and told the bloke, “Mate, this is really starting to hurt.” And he’s just pulled out the green painkilling whistle and I was off with the fairies after that.

What was your worst fin chop before this one?

I almost cut my toe off once in Hawaii, and I’ve had my fin go through the webbing between my toes twice, once before my first heat in J-Bay last year. That one was three stitches, the Hawaii one was eight stitches, and I’ve had 10 stitches in my head, so I’ve smashed my record with this one. The doctor put a lot of stitches inside the cut – he lost count. Then on the outside there were 15, 20 maybe across the bottom of my foot. There was a bit of work to do there. This shits on anything I’ve done to myself in my whole life; my ankle injury, my knee, medial ligaments, this shits on it for pain and sheer gruesomeness. You wouldn’t wish it upon anyone else in the world just to come up after a wipeout and see your body hacked at like that. Come up and one of your limbs looks horrifically not right. Like when a footballer seeing another players knee bending the other way, just that immediate horror of seeing a body not looking like it should.

What’s the prognosis for getting back into the water?

Because it’s a flesh wound it’s one of those things we really don’t know how long it’s going to take. It’s not like, “It’s a grade one medial tear, you’re out for four weeks.” There’s no timetable on this and I won’t know until I’m up walking around on it. I’ve been getting some physio on the foot, and I’ve got an electronic machine that stimulates bloodflow through it. I’ve got to get the movement back in my toes as soon as I can, and then I’ve got to put weight back on it. With the scar tissue in the wound it’s hard to tell exactly how long it’s going to take to heal. I haven’t pulled out of Tahiti but I might have to. You’ve got to stay upbeat with something like this and use some positive energy to help it heal.

What did you learn from dealing with the ankle injury last year that you can apply to this one?

That I’m not coming back until I’m 100 per cent. Because I was chasing the world title last year I was coming back at 60 per cent and I never want to do that again. I hated last year going to Trestles thinking, if I can just get a 9th here I’ll take it. You need to go into every event thinking you can win it. Even if I get it to 90 per cent with this injury I’ll wait. I want to come back at 100 per cent. I was talking to Hog [Nathan Hedge] today and he was talking about his shoulder injury that he did a few years ago, and he said it was the best thing he ever did, waiting a bit longer for it to heal rather than rushing back.

That’s two major injuries within 12 months. How unlucky are you feeling right now?

Pretty bloody unlucky.

You were just three days away from getting on the plane to J-Bay. Surely that added to the pain?

It did. I was so fit and I’d trained so hard and all the work had been done. I was so ready. I’d finished training and was only a few days from getting on the plane. All the hard stuff was done and I was so ready to go and start reaping the benefits of feeling amazing and surfing J-Bay and surfing heats again, but now I’m here lying on the couch instead.

Are you going to be watching the contest webcast?

For sure, I’ll be cheering on Deano and Andy and Mick. I’d love to see a Deano and Andy final. I wanna watch the heats… but I’m not so keen on watching the waves. There’s swell coming and I’ll just be torturing myself by watching it. If it’s pumping I’m going to be in all sorts. But I love watching the heats live when I get the chance, screaming at the guys on screen telling ‘em what they should be doing. You never lose a heat watching it on the beach, and I don’t intend to lose a heat watching it on the lounge. I’ll be the supercoach on the lounge telling everyone what they should be doing.

And what about the other 20 hours a day on the lounge? How much Oprah and Doctor Phil are you watching?

I’m over the couch already. I’ve been reading my fishing mags and watching some fishing shows on the Discovery Channel today, which were pretty cool. As soon as I can walk around I’ll be getting my boat out into the river and going fishing. Hazza’s injured and has got a boot on his foot at the moment, so he might be my fishing partner. We might go chasing some whiting and flathead in the river. I think just getting into the outdoors at the moment will be good for my mind.

EAGLE? LOOKS LIKE A TURKEY…

Eagle? Looks like a turkey… from Joel Parkinson on Vimeo.

Earlier in the year Joel lost a bet to yours truly when his beloved Titans lost to my Dragons. The stakes? Surfing a lap of the point at J-Bay in boardshorts during the Billabong Pro in July. The water will be around 13 degrees, and it will not be fun. Foolishly, riding my luck, I made the same bet with Joel’s resident video guy, Kenny when my Dragons played Kenny’s Sea Eagles. Joel will now have company when he surfs his lap of the freezing pointbreak in boardies… me. The video above turned up in my inbox the morning after the Eagles won.

Kenny, you are a turkey.

KAIXO MUNDAKA

Kaixo Mundaka from Joel Parkinson on Vimeo.

BASQUING IN IT

Mundaka today on the high tide... the bank is there, we just need some swell.

Drove down this morning from Hossegor and have just arrived in Mundaka. Sunday afternoon here and the bars down on the harbour were pretty well packed with local crew. I always love coming back to Mundaka… it’s such a pretty little place with all the cobblestone streets and bars.

Louie and I actually drove down during the week and had a little surf on the bank. Sagey gave us a call and told us there were waves so we decided to jump in the car and have a surf on the bank. It was only a couple of foot, but the bank here is about as good as I’ve ever seen it. The sand is unbelievable, so if we get any swell for the contest it’s going to be epic.

The waves this morning at Hossegor were the flattest I think I’ve ever seen it. There wasn’t even a little surge on the shorey, and it was pretty much the same when we got down to Mundaka. They’re calling for a little pulse of swell tomorrow so there’s a good chance we’re gonna run tomorrow, but we might be on the beachies instead of the rivermouth.

I’m feeling pretty psyched to get a result here. I’ve done all right here in the past and always feel comfortable here. I lost the final to CJ in the last 10 seconds last year, so I’d love to finally win this one. We’re starting to get into the home straight with the season so it’s getting interesting.