Joel Parkinson

NO SLEEP TILL BROOKLYN

“It’s not an easy sleep when it gets big. One year me and Mick stayed at Alain’s house in the bungalow that hangs out over the lagoon. Usually it’s flat, calm water calm in the lagoon. That night we could hear the reef detonating a mile out to sea as the swell came up, and we could hear the waves splashing up under our bungalow. We used to leave our thongs at the back door, but we woke up the next morning and they’d been washed away. We just looked at each other knowing we had to surf it in a few hours.” – Joel

Excerpt from Parko+Freinds… check it out or buy it here.

GREAT ANDY TAHITI MOMENTS #2378: THE SHOTGUN CLAIM

Blam. //Tostee/ASP

There were a million brilliant Andy moments out at Teahupoo… where do you start? But for me, Andy and the shotgun claim was probably the best competition moment I’ve ever witnessed. Andy was surfing against Deano [Morrison] and needed a seven to win. I was staying with Andy and was his caddy, and he’s come flying out of this barrel in the dying seconds knowing he’d got the score he needed, and he’s claimed it by pretending to fire a shotgun into the air. But while he was busy doing that, Deano has got an even better barrel on the next one. I’m looking at Andy and he’s still claiming it, he’s reloaded his shotgun and is still firing, and I’m too far away to tell him he should probably stop. They announced that Deano had won, but Andy still didn’t hear it, and Deano has had to paddle over to him and say, “Umm, sorry mate, I think I won.” Andy didn’t say a word and just started paddling the half-mile back to shore, snapping. When I got home the stuff that was coming out of his mouth was some of the funniest shit I’ve ever heard in my life. After a while he’s stopped screaming at the walls and just looked at me and we’ve both just cracked up.” – Joel

An excerpt from Parko+Friends… check it out or buy here.

BRUCE INTERVIEWS JOEL

Bruce Irons interviews his housemate in Tahiti, Joel Parkinson…

Bruce: I’m going to think of a good question everyone wants to hear. Um, err… hey, check out these yellowfin my friends been catching! [Bruce grabs his phone and shows Joel fish photos for five minutes]. When the sickles touch the tail, brah, they’re 200lbs.

Joel: Weren’t you interviewing me?

Bruce: Yeah, yeah right, I was. Okay… What is it that people want to hear about Joel? Something nobody has asked you. Joel, what makes your strategy this year different to every other year?

Joel: Are you kidding me? I’ve been asked that question 20 million times already.

Bruce: You’re building the A-frame, that’s what – fit as f*ck. Less is more, more is less.

Joel: Bruce has kicked me out of our friendship, apparently, Adriano is his boy now. He went on a boat trip with Adriano for two weeks and now he’s brushed me. We had a lifelong deal going and he’s brushed me for Adriano.

Bruce: Hey, I came here to Tahiti just to hang out with you. I only came here because you phoned me and asked me to come. You’re still on my team. And you know, the reason Joel’s doing really good is the positive life forces coming out him. I can feel it, brah. Something good’s going to happen here real soon.

Joel: Wasn’t I supposed to answer the question?

YESTERDAY…

WELCOME TO TAHITI

“Welcome to Tahiti. My first year was the massive year, and I lost to Victor Ribas. It was fucking huge. It was the year Lowey threw his board and dived for his life under a 12-footer. I was the heat before that and I got so hammered. One of my worst wipeouts, ever, and even to this day it still scars me. I’d caught an eight-footer, but couldn’t get out before the right came across and closed it out on dry reef. I just skimmed along the water and had the longest weightless feeling, knowing I was going to get hammered into the reef. I got back-flipped a couple of times up onto the reef, then have pancaked, losing skin all the way. I’ve come up on the reef in two foot of water thinking, whooh, I’m sweet, just a few tiger claws. I’m standing on the reef in ankle deep water and have turned around to see six foot of whitewater charging at me. I’ve just starfished onto the reef and waited for the thing to hit me. Bounce-bounce-bounce all the way into the lagoon, broken board, sliced up. I’m marooned in the lagoon and have had to go all the way around the reef to get back out. Meanwhile Victor Ribas has got me comboed, and I’m thinking, do I really wanna go back out there?” – Joel

Excerpt from Parko+Friends… check it out or buy it here.